winter

But for real, am I the only one who can't NOT click on clickbait?

Like, I know its stupid and I pretty much always roll my eyes at it, but nonetheless I HAVE to discover "what will happen to me in 2017" and "the top ten reasons I'm single".

Anyway, if this post was clickbait it would be titled, "Top Five Reasons Winter is a Soul-Sucking Demon".

*spoiler alert, these are the reasons I hate winter*

1. cold feet

I think my feet are literally cold from November until March. Its a problem and I should probably go get it checked out.

2. time

winter more than anything is just a big-fat-time-wasting-inconvenience. Like hey you wanna go somewhere? Better plan on an extra 10 minutes to get dressed (hello layers), 15 minutes to dig your car out of an ice cave, and 20 minutes to drive at the speed of a snail. Winter is the season of dawdlers and I do not enjoy dawdling.

3. slippy-slidy

probably not unlike most sane people, I do not enjoy falling. Being almost 6 feet tall, we need take into account how far my head is from the ground, and how long I have to panic about the fall. It feels like I almost have a full minute to think about the pain before I actually crash. So I gotta walk like I'm 89 years old. Yet invariably I still slip and end up with a bruise the size of China on my thigh.

I don't even want to talk about the slippy-slidy effects of driving a car.

4. dry skin

maybe this plague is Utah specific, but seriously its the worst. Also I should be crowned queen of "being too lazy to put on lotion" so maybe I bring to woes on myself.

In other news, I was discussing this very topic on a date the other day. My date was saying how terrible dry flaky skin is and I told him, "lol its like your skin is snowing too."

*face palm*

This is probably one of the top ten reasons I'm single.

5. dark & cold

I understand that this observation is quite obvious, but in my opinion the best thing about summer is night time. It stays light outside until like 9 o'clock and then even when the sun sets its still warm. Summer nights are perfect for going on walks or doing whatever the heck you want.

Winter?

nah. its freezing cold even at the peak of daylight. Not to mention it gets dark at like 5 o'clock and then the only thing you can do is hibernate beneath a heated blanket.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy these rare images of me leaving the comfort of my heated blanket and losing feeling in my feet. someone plz notify me when it is again warm and suitable to leave my home.